Crap·o·la /kraˈpōlə/: Introductory Dump

So why a blog, and why now? I mean, I've made it through more than sixty years of life without subjecting other people to my inner workings...in written form anyway. I've spewed a lot of nonsense verbally over the years. But I've always wanted to write something, I just never really had a concrete idea of what that was. 

Fiction? I kind of suck at character development and actually coming up with plots. I have a drawer full of Great American Novel ideas that I wrote maybe a chapter of before deciding they would never see the light of day. 

Non-fiction? I have no expertise in anything that hasn't already been written about exhaustively, so a how-to or self-help book is off the table. 

So maybe short-form blurbs are where it's at for me. It certainly tracks with my attention span. 😛

I did come up with a lot of material when I decided to try stand-up comedy. But since at my age I'm not attempting to start a comedy career, and I'm NOT going on the road to claw my way up from nothing, that stuff is just sitting around waiting to be deployed in some fashion. Some of it may see the light of day in open mics now and then, but a lot of it can be read just as easily. And it may be better, because I can take all the time I need to make the story come to life.  And you can read it at your leisure.

Most of what you'll find here will be personal musings and anecdotes from my life. Some may be straight-up truth, and some embellished upon somewhat to make a better story. Fact or crap? That's for you to decide. Also, my memory has always been notoriously unreliable, and is not improving with age, so that will almost certainly color the outcome too. 

There may be a serious post once in awhile. I am not immune to the cubic fuck-ton of bullshit the world is shoveling our way from every angle, and, although finding the funny is what I try to do, sometimes I just can't. So the occasional opinion piece or rant will show up. Maybe sooner rather than later, because I do have a few things to get off my chest right now, and I need somewhere to unload. And since this is my fucking playground...well, you have been warned. You may have to step around a steaming pile of cat doo in my sandbox of fun every now and then.

As for the title of this blog...I tried to come up with something clever and catchy, and alliteration is always good. "Claudia's"...something. I tried several possibilities, and most were already taken (and sitting there unused for the most part. C'mon people, if you're not going to actually use the blog title or domain name, set it free!). "Claudia's Corner". Taken. "Claudia's Cafe". Taken. "Claudia's Closet". Taken. "Claudia's Communique". Not taken, but little too self-important with a sprinkling of Unabomber tossed in. I finally threw up my hands in frustration and cried out "Crapola!". And, voila, a blog title was born. After looking up the dictionary definition, it was a done deal. Because there will be a LOT of rubbish and nonsense in here. 

And, yeah, there will be cussin'. Anyone who knows me knows that is a given. If you're not a person who enjoys a good "fuck" once in a while (I'm talking about the the word, not the act), this may not be the happiest place on earth for you. 

But, hey, if you can deal with that...hang around. You may get a kick out of it. I hope you need to wipe your screen off or even change your underwear once in awhile. If I can do nothing more than make you laugh 'til you snork or pee, at least I've made my little mark on this world.

Also, is it just me, or does the word "blog" sound like something you'd do after a hard night of drinking?

Cheers!